Desperate parents and kids who will only eat mac'n cheese? Here's a healthy option.

Like a lot of people these days, I’ve got a kid with eating issues. Due to neurological and developmental issues, the doctors keep saying she needs about twice the optimal daily allowance of protein for a child (about 30 grams for most kids, 60 for my kid).

BUT due to sensory sensitivity issues she won’t eat most meat or eggs. She will sometimes eat legumes and nuts but not nearly often enough. The one significant protein source she’ll always eat is cheese, but dairy protein alone isn’t going to cut it for brain development.

Let me get one thing utterly clear here.

There’s a lot of judgmentalism out there about parents saying their kids have eating issues or intolerance to certain foods, when in reality it’s sometimes about parents wishing their kid was more special than the next kid or the inability of parents to set limits on the demands of entitled, picky kids living amid excess privilege.

And on one level I am as irritated as the rest. It is not “cool” to have neurological difficulties or sensory disorders or allergies or digestive illnesses. The real thing is a huge pain in the butt. If not eating gluten either helps you avoid little bumps on your skin or helps you feel good about yourself or about your kid, go for it. At least it is bringing the gluten free prices down for people with acute digestive illnesses. But please don’t make a big deal about it in every gathering where your child might ingest a small amount of gluten and have absolutely nothing happen. That kind of behavior is going to get a child with a real nut allergy killed, because people stop taking it seriously.

On the other hand, people who are irritated by this wave of special eating issues need to get a grip as well. Be grateful that you or your kids don’t have issues and can freely eat what they want. The instance of life-threatening allergies and real actual, factual, documented deaths from allergens has gone up in recent decades. Few researchers want to risk a funding ban by pointing fingers at the chemical industry and agro-business but there are plenty of studies linking the toxic stuff these industries put out to harmful hormonal, genetic and immune effects. People who say they really have a problem and are willing to eat the potatoes with nothing or the like and thank you for them are not realistically faking a problem for fun or image considerations.

Sure, shrug the next time a mom guilt trips you about how you should have made gluten free cupcakes for the birthday party because her little tike is “sensitive” while he’s over at the table going to town on the Doritos and she doesn’t care. But pay attention when it is clearly a real issue.

So, back to the story. If you are irritated by talk of food sensitivities and just want the recipe for healthy mac’n cheese, use the scroll bar.

Given all her sensory sensitivity and her love of cheese, my daughter has become obsessed with mac’n cheese in recent months. She had seen it on TV and the fact that it was mostly just noodles and cheese, two of her favorite things, was extremely enticing. For me, however, not so much. She gets plenty of cheese protein in a regular diet and there is very little nutritional value otherwise in this standard comfort food.

So, I was resistant for a long time. Finally, I decided to research healthier options for mac’n cheese, Other than hiding tiny bits of meat in it, the only viable option I came up with for adding protein was protein powder. It’s less than ideal but I was also concerned about other nutrients. Finally, I came across a recipe for reasonably healthy pumpkin-based mac’n cheese. Still a ton of dairy protein and the pumpkin sauce would make the protein powder disappear more easily.

The best part was I had just pulled a small pumpkin out of my garden.

There are those who have told me I should cut out all gluten from my kids’ diets given the sensory and neurological issues, but even testing the theory requires months of absolute isolation from gluten and that isn’t feasible in our school system without a heavy-handed doctor’s order, which we aren’t likely to get in order to just test a theory. So, this recipe includes regular whole wheat macaroni noodles, but you can substitute as needed.

My younger kid, the one without most of the eating issues is lactose intolerant, so I used lactose-free milk and cheese but the same can be done with regular milk and cheese.

My plan was to make the mac’n cheese in secret without letting my daughter know it had pumpkin in it, because she insisted she only wanted “pure” unadulterated mac’n cheese. And when she throws a food fit, it is epic. Not that we let her get away with dictating everything, but when you can avoid a hours-long scream-a-thon with basic precautions, you just do it.

So, I cut up and steamed the pumpkin. I pre-cooked the noodles. But then my daughter got home from her playdate early and the gig was up. She noticed the mound of noodles in a pot on the stove and went into overdrive. “I want mac’n cheese! I want mac'‘n cheese!”

Fifteen minutes later, after calming exercises and a discussion plus role play on how to express enthusiasm and make an appropriate request, I agreed to let her “help” cook. I figured that the added flexibility fostered by being involved in the cooking would balance out her disagreement with pumpkin in the sauce.

First, we had to make the sauce base and keep it free of lumps. This requires putting the butter in the pan and then briskly whisking in the flour and protein powder. You can use just flower, but you’ll need about 2 TBSP of flour. I can do this asleep by myself. But with my daughter it’s quite tricky. Thus no pictures of this stage. She managed it and thanks to the hand blender, there weren’t even any lumps.

Then we poured in the milk and plopped in the pumpkin, which hadn’t been pureed yet. You can puree it earlier to be on the safe side, but with a hand blender this works too. Just don’t let it get too hot first. My daughter insisted on tasting it at this point, still without salt and she was understandably horrified. But I managed to talk her out of full judgement.

She first got excited when I dropped in the mixture of herbs, salt and spices I had prepared ahead of time. She loved the smell. Who doesn’t? Pepper, paprika, basil, oregano and rosemary are a good smell combo. Then she was so taken with the pretty colors in the sauce that she insisted I take a picture.

The next taste test was the best part. She already loved the sauce, declaring it to be “the best sauce ever” and we hadn’t even added the cheese yet. Once we did she was fully on-board. We mixed the noodles directly into the sauce once we were happy with it and then poured the whole mess into the greased baking pan.

I saved out a third of the cheese to sprinkle on top and added breadcrumbs for a nice crust.

So, here’s the recipe in a nutshell:

Pre-heat the oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.

Ingredients:

• 1 pound of wholewheat noodles (pre-cooked)

• 2 TBSP butter

• 1 TBSP flour (Use 2 TBSP if not adding protein powder)

• 3 TBSP protein powder (equivalent of about 30 grams of protein)

• 2 cups milk

• 1 TBSP dried oregano

• 1 TBSP dried basil

• 1 tsp dried rosemary

• 1/2 tsp black pepper

• 1 tsp turmeric powder

• 1 tsp sweet paprika powder

• 1 tsp salt

• 1 1/2 -- 2 cups pureed winter squash (or one small winter squash or pumpkin, with seeds and rind removed)

• 1 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese (save 1/2 cup for topping)

• 1 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese (save 1/2 cup for topping)

• Olive oil to grease the pan

• 3/4 cup bread crumbs for topping

Bake for 45 min to 1 hour, until top is golden brown.

The waiting for it to bake was the hardest part. My daughter was over-the-top excited and the smell was pretty amazing. In the end it came out beautifully and our men-folk ate it with amazed glances at me, given that I’m known for only making healthy stuff and my daughter insisted we wait until after they’d eaten to tell them the secret ingredient.

Salad and revolution

Recipe:

• Dirt

• Compost

• Seeds

• Rain

• Sun

Beet greens and scraggly carrots. Carefully cleaned of dirt and possible toxoplasma critters. Shreds of lettuce, separated from the ragged leaves nibbled by slugs and/or slug-eating ducks. A bit of chard, kale, sorrel and dandelion greens that survived the summer scorching. The beets themselves grated fine. Fresh basil by the handful, green onions and chives, picked clean of grass. Prickly fresh cucumbers, small orange peppers and the prize of the table—bright red tomatoes, so fragrant they almost knock you over.

That’s not all even from the garden. Though I’ll admit that the recipe must vary some here. There are boiled eggs from the ducks and the hens. Sliced thin over the salad along with thin-sliced apples.

Image by Laurel F. of Flickr.com

Add a variety of brown and black seeds. Sprinkle on some fresh, salted white cheese, olive oil and vinegar or lemon juice. And there are few things this good. I can honestly say that for a tiny sum I can eat the same way I would eat if I was a billionaire. Most billionaires don’t, but that’s their loss, isn’t it?

OK, I’ll admit that I can’t do this year round and early fall is the season of bounty, but with a bit of work it can be stretched to most of the year in most climates.

After the picking, sorting, washing and chopping I finally sit down to savor the flavor. There are rolls slathered in hummus and sweetcorn with butter to go with it.

But the bonanza of taste goes bitter on my tongue. The kids have come in with cries of dismay and faux disgusted noises. They yell a few naughty words as I shoo them off to the bathroom to wash their hands. The complaining doesn’t let up all through dinner, though they’ve often eaten similar food and enjoyed it, even given compliments. Now they’re in school and they’ve learned what is socially acceptable and what isn’t.

My husband glowers at me morosely. Not because he doesn’t like the food, though. Some men might complain worse than the peer-pressured kids, but he’s very health conscious and he’d have this most nights if the children would let us. His glower is more for the work involved, for the fact that I reminded him he was going to turn the compost pile and cut some grass this afternoon and he lounged on the couch instead. And because we lost a few hens and need to get a couple more before winter. It isn’t the expense he minds. The cost is minimal and the farmers bring them right to the church near our house, so I can walk to pick them up. But it is another reminder of the garden he has come to hate.

When we first bought our little plot and set up the garden, he was full of plans and ideals. Once he even wanted to take over his father’s farm and go completely “back to the land.” I grew up that way and I was a bit nervous but possibly game. His mother talked us out of it. Later he wanted to buy a little farm closer to the city and keep his job, but do real homesteading on the side. I was all for that, though it would have been hard on me, not being able to drive.

In the end, this little suburban plot at the edge of town with a dry garden spot on a steep hill was the compromise. And I make do.

It doesn’t take all my time, probably an average of two hours a day through the warm part of the year, where some days it takes barely half an hour to water and feed in a rush and a few days where I am working out there all day. In the winter there is down time but now that there are animals too, no part of the year is ever entirely without chores.

I never thought I’d say it but I like it that way. Even when the sleet, the coal smoke from the town and the icy hill are worst in the winter and I’ve still got to take care of chickens and ducks, I am glad. I know that nothing beyond living creatures that depend on me would get me outdoors in such weather and I’m glad something pulls me out there.

I feel capable and grounded. It’s the only way I know for sure that my confidence in myself isn’t based on either flattery or delusion.

But year after year, my husband’s interest has waned. Granted, things have been hard, harder than anyone would plan. The kids didn’t come easy and when we finally did adopt them, they came with troubles and health issues and grief. Work only gets harder every year and there isn’t much juice left over at the end of the day.

Maybe he always saw the gardening or homesteading as a kind of romantic idea. And when the sticks are down, romance tends to dry up.

But for me, it has always been more about skills and preparation. If this year my cucumber crop was nearly a failure, the key is learning why and learning to do better next time. These days the garden is a help to our diet.

We eat the best organic veggies money usually can’t buy half of the year and can a bit as well. But the peace of mind is the bigger prize for me. It isn’t that I think we’d do particularly well in a climate meltdown or other economic crisis, but we’d stand a bit of a chance, we’d have skills worth something to others. That does lower my anxiety level.

Beyond that, food is the thing that controls humans best. Our current food systems through the mainstream economy are heavily controlled by corporations, which are invested in keeping us used to processed foods we can’t make ourselves with flavor chemicals designed to trigger addiction in our brains. Food supply has been used to control and manipulate populations in every major economic crisis, war or totalitarian regime in human history.

Growing your own food is tasty, healthy, confidence boosting and occasionally fun. It is also the most radically independent act a revolutionary can take.

The balance: Herbs versus modern, western medicine in field first aid

I lay out the things once more - gauze, tape, band aids, iodine, scissors, a triangle scarf, something for burns, something to ease breathing, something to calm rattled nerves, something to ease pain, a healing salve...

How many times have I put together a first aid kit? I've lost track even of the types of kits I've put together.

It probably started when I was a kid and I viewed toothpaste, duct tape and a pocket knife as "first aid." The toothpaste was for tree resin removal and cooling of insect bites, not for teeth.

Then as a young adult I packed a first aid kit in my big trek pack for trips to Ecuador, Kazakhstan, Nepal or Kosovo.

Image via Pixabay

In those days, I got prescription antibiotics and pain killers for emergencies. I never used them, except once the antibiotics in some remote Mexican mountains.

But I did bandage a lot of cuts, disinfect many wounds, wash dirt out of scrapes and sooth a lot of distress in my time.

Some will sneer. A lot of things were beyond my skills and my kit. But the woman with infected cuts on her hands in rural Bangladesh, who had never seen a doctor, cried and hugged me when I cleaned and bandaged her wounds. Even if that were the only time, it would have been worth it.

I also doctored myself plenty. Once in the Amazon, I cut my foot on a steel grate and it bled so profusely that my local friends took me to the local hospital, which turned out to be a filthy, concrete shed, crowded with infectious disease. I opted for my own kit and bandaged it myself. I managed not to get that cut infected either, no small thing in the rain forest.

I've packed a kit for groups of kids and for family camping trips as well. This time, I'm packing it for another sort of purpose--climate crisis protests.

That mostly means that for the first time I include a large bottle of antacid. I'm told that diluted half and half with water it makes a decent anti-tear-gas eye wash. There are other things I wish I had, like an inhaler, a ventilator, instant ice packs and burn dressings. But I'll make do. Hopefully I won't need any of it.

While updating my research for this kit, I ran across the usual arguments of course. There are the staunch proponents of alternative and herbal medicine, who wouldn't have antibiotics even if they could get them. And there are the western medicine mafia, who don't care if lemon balm salve beats out Acyclovir in clinical trials because "imprecise dosage."

Never mind the fact that precise dosage isn't that important with lemon balm, given that the effective dose is relatively low and the harmful dose is unattainably high.

I don't fit neatly into either camp.

Antibiotics are not the work of the devil. Quite the opposite. They have saved countless lives from miserable, horrifying death, including my own most likely.

But the antibiotic era is still waning. Resistant bacteria are far too common now. Last year, I fought off a flesh-eating MRSA infection that didn't respond to antibiotics. And you bet I'm grateful for the oregano essential oil that finally kicked it.

Ideology ties our hands and causes harm in healing as in any other area.

How do you decide then? The main rule of thumb is to use what works. There are areas where modern, western medicine still does a better job than herbs and there are things where herbs are a better bet.

Western medicine:

• Surgery

• Antibiotics

• Massive bodily trauma

• Bleeding wounds

• Organ failure

• Bacterial infections

Herbs:

• Scrapes, bruises and burns

• Allergies

• Systemic and chronic disease

• Psychological distress

• Viral and fungal infections

• Lung and bronchial difficulties

Automatic rejection of either is nothing but stubborn ignorance that gets in the way of healing.

So, what goes into this year's first aid kit? Here's a list that may come in handy for others on the front lines of the struggle for a livable future.

Disinfectant - I prefer iodine. You can also use an herbal tincture (yarrow is good) if the alcohol content is high enough. But if you carry nothing else, this is probably the thing. I got the MRSA infection simply because I delayed disinfecting a cut for thirty minutes. And no, it wasn't because I had a low immune response. Had I not had a strong immune system I wouldn't have been able to get rid of it at all. Disinfect cuts and scrapes in the field. Just do it.

Bandages, gauze - lots of them. You will almost never need them, though protests are possibly one place you're more likely to. And when you need them you will really need them and in good supply. Use them to stop bleeding. Put them on, apply pressure, get more help.

Tape - to hold the gauze on.

Scissors - to cut the tape and bandages

Disposable gloves - Yes, this is the one area not to be environmentally friendly. Use them if there's blood. Change them each time. When we cut out all single use-plastics, this will be one of the few exceptions.

Sanitary pads - for their usual use as well as as backup bandages

Band-aids - No, not silly. Disinfect and then cover small cuts. Infection is not silly. And a cut hurts a lot less when covered and protected.

Water, Panthenol, raw honey, aloe vera or St. John's Wart salve for burns - Cool water is the single greatest burn remedy. With any burn, get it in water if at all possible as soon as possible. If that's impossible, burn dressings might help, but you aren't likely to have them unless you're a professional. In some parts of Europe, there is a foam available called Panthenol. It was developed during the Vietnam war to counteract Agent Orange. It is the second best thing to water. Other than that, raw honey, aloe vera gel and St. John's Wart salve (roughly in that order) are the next best things.

Plantain salve - Plantain infused olive oil, heated with bee's wax and some vitamin E, then cooled. Use after disinfection on small cuts, bruises and scrapes that you can't put a band aid on.

Antacid mixed with water to wash eyes and faces exposed to tear gas and pepper spray - Use a ratio of 1 to 1.

Clean rags or bandannas - to soak in water or antacid mixture for burns or chemical exposure

Mullein leaf, mallow or thyme tincture - for respiratory problems and to heal respiratory tract after chemical exposure

Lemon balm or valerian tincture or syrup (for children) - to calm nerves and panic attacks, to reduce trauma after a bad fright, to restore strength

Echinacea tincture - As an immune booster after injury or traumatic experience, which is likely to lower immune response

Garbage sacks - to isolate clothing and other materials exposed to tear gas or other chemicals

Ibuprofen - for sprains and other pain relief

Water - for re-hydration and psychological comfort

Wax paper squares - folded into sustainable emergency water cups as an environmentally friendly alternative to lots of plastic cups or bottles. They dry and can be reused. They also take up less space than traditional paper cups.

Waiting for the first herbs

When the fragile light first glides,

whispering across the land,

the cold sunlight of March,

Image by Arie Farnam

as sleet still stings like sand,

I walk in the bare woods,

before the first buds awake.

Tiny rosettes of nettle nestle

amid the leaves I rake.

In the garden little pokes

above the still cold dirt

but tiny chickweed leaves

to heal some small hurt.

Still the tops of most herbs

stand dry and winter browned,

waiting past the last April snow

safe beneath the ground.

Then coltsfoot and lungwort,

brave and hearty those two,

raise their faces to the sun

pale yellow and purple blue

Rosemary and lavender,

as your leaves slowly green,

beware the last blast of winter

that we have not yet seen.

I’m waiting for the leaves

to wave green flags of spring

I’m waiting for the flowers

and breath to rise and sing.

The world needs more poetry these days. I may not be able to do all the things I have wished to. But I heard that we now have a local chapter of Extinction Rebellion. My post is short because I’m off to check out their website and sign up to do my bit on the home front.

Fed up with artificial colors, fragrances and taste enhancers

Science is complicated.

Just because something happens at the same time as another thing or just after another thing does not mean one caused the other. Sometimes it does. But sometimes they are just two things happening at the same time. Correlation is not causation.

But when something happens only when (or much more intensely when) something else happened right before it in many different places and at many different times to many different subjects, then the first thing probably does in some way, direct or indirect, cause the second thing.

That is what is happening and being reported by parents all over the world when it comes to artificial food coloring, fragrances and taste boosters—food additives with those indecipherable names clogging the ingredients lists of most packaged foods. One thing happens (a child eats something containing these substances) and then another thing happens (the child shakes, cries, screams, throws extraordinary tantrums, breaks out in unaccustomed skin rashes or has other reactions). Parents have reported these observations again and again, in every parenting forum I have ever come across.

Image by Arie Farnam

But medical studies claim the evidence is “inconclusive.”

Granted, the spectrum of substances suspected of causing reactions is broad and the reactions caused are diverse. And not all kids react. Kids with attention and sensory issues tend to react more… a lot more.

It is also difficult to differentiate the energetic boost delivered by sugar and other simple carbohydrates almost always contained in the same foods from the effects of other additives. Most studies have tried to separate the two. But we don’t actually know that it isn’t the combination of sugar and the additives that is a problem for these children.

Many of the substances used to create colors, fragrances and taste boosters have been progressively banned in more safety-conscious countries in Europe, usually due to vague neurological effects, but new ones—all too chemically similar—are continually being invented.

As a parent with one child with high sensitivity to food additives and another child without particular sensitivities, I can clearly see the differences. One child doesn’t make a study, but the experiences of thousands of parents routinely dismissed and belittled by the medical establishment make for a very suspicious situation.

Given the massive lobbying capabilities of the food industry and the extreme profits garnered by these cheap substances added to foods to make them instinctively addictive to children, I call foul. I have not seen adequate research and investigation into this area yet, but the past few weeks have lit a fire under me.

Due to various allergy-type reactions to milk and other foods, I had both of my children tested for all standard food allergies about a month ago. Both of them tested negative in every category. The test did not include a test for lactose intolerance, which isn’t actually an allergy. But as soon as I got my son lactose-free milk, his symptoms cleared up.

My confidence in the allergy testing system is shaky at best, if they aren’t even with it enough to refer a kid with allergy-type reactions to milk for a lactose intolerance screening. I have also seen my ten-year-old daughter collapse, screaming with shaking hands for two or three hours at a stretch after eating a moderate amount of green food coloring on several occasions. I’ve seen her exceptionally irritable and impulsive after eating everything from a single piece of candy to a few handfuls of fake-cheese-flavored chips.

Then just recently, in the month since the allergy testing, she acquired some much coveted children’s lipstick with chemically induced “cupcake” flavoring. She smeared it on liberally and by her own admission ingested a small amount. This was after a day of eating only very familiar foods, but after a few hours she was covered with extreme allergic eczema from her knees to the knuckles of her hands.

Fortunately, anti-allergenic mint salve (see the recipe here) stopped the itching within thirty minutes and cleared up the eczema in two days, a result the doctor proclaimed “miraculous.” Our pharmacist told me antihistamines generally soothe the itching within 24 hours and clear up that level of eczema in seven days.

(Caveat and disclaimer: There has not been enough study of mint extracts for eczema. There are few side effects reported, but skin rashes should be consulted with medical professionals. If your doctor agrees, mint salve might help. I have seen it help in many cases, but with other types of allergies it had no effect.)

The lack of rigorous research on the harmful affects of food and cosmetics additives continues to be problematic. This is not a difficult issue. There is no need to color foods or cosmetics or enhance fragrances or tastes. What if companies were forced to compete based on the actual basic quality of their product, plain and simple, rather than relying on manipulative manufactured substances?

How does a company making lipstick marketed specifically to young children get away with including heavy-duty fragrances and taste enhancers that make children obsessively want to eat a product that has not been tested as a food?

I am constantly under attack from these products. My kids beg for the products they see in advertisements on children’s TV shows or that their friends have. Other adults gift them to my children. The worst of them are very dangerous. But beyond that many of them are just damaging and hazardous to long-term health. Some sensitive children react to these harmful substances immediately. But that does not mean that they don’t still silently harm the health of less sensitive children as well. It is altogether possible that children with sensory and attention “disorders” are our canaries in a coal mine.

Because I want to protect my children from hazardous substances contained in most of the products on the supermarket shelves and I actually stand my ground on it, I am called an “extremist” or accused of having “extremely high standards.” These shouldn’t be considered high standards.

Just make food. Just make lip gloss. I can grow the ingredients and make both from my own home with no chemicals and they taste great and they last.

Substances must be thoroughly investigated, including long-term health and neurological effects, before being approved for food or cosmetics use. Even more fundamentally, there is no reason for substances which manipulate and deceive the senses. No manipulative or addictive product should ever be marketed to children.

It is not that I want to control what other people do. I don’t want them around me. I don’t want them invading my space. I don’t want to be pressured over them. I don’t want my children manipulated by them or given them by friends.

If it isn’t cupcakes, it shouldn’t taste and smell like cupcakes. Cupcake flavor and smell should be what it is—flour, sugar, butter, real strawberries, in season, brief and real. Period.